After the War
by Justnerdyme
Summary: SPOILERS TROS Between the moment of life and death, what happens when they both come back? A little change to the ending of TROS and what happens after. What becomes of Rey, Ben, and the rebels when they aren't rebelling?
1. Chapter 1

I wasn't strong enough to save her. I felt the fear rush through my core. It was like nothing I ever felt. Fear more powerful-well the same fear when my father came to me. The fear that I was a failure. The woman lied in my arms completely still. Her lips, a strange color purple that I have seen a thousand times but they never mattered. No one's lips ever mattered until hers.

Now she is gone. Please. Please don't let it be true. Don't let her be gone. I just found her. I just found her. I should have been strong enough.

The tears at my chest pulled harder until I gathered Rey closer to my body. This is not the end. I refuse. Please. I quieted my mind. The sound of each breath echoing in the chasm of my soul. I had to reach further with my mind than I ever had. I saw her heal my wound. If she could heal me I could piece her back together. Bring her back to me. Every pulsing moment felt like a lifetime.

The dust from the desecration of the sith fell to ashes. Echoes of crashing metal and fires rushed around shifting the fallen weight but like a breath against the sunrise, a blissful silence hushed the collapsing debris. Her hand reached mine and everything went quiet. Just one quiet moment. Then a kiss before all I saw was black.

"No." A whisper came through the emptiness of the void. "I'm taking your hand." A soft whimper of a voice I had come to crave. I knew that voice. I dreamt of that voice day after day. That voice spoke to me through hatred and fear. It had brought me out of suffering. "No. No!" I could feel her getting closer. I could feel her hand on my chest. I could feel her calling to me. Maybe only one of us could live. Maybe that was my destiny. Finally giving instead of taking. I gave her all of me but she was demanding me back.

I wanted to go back to her. To have an ending that my mother and father deserved and the ending my grandfather and grandmother deserved. I wanted it all. I wanted to be selfish and go back to her. Our connection was still there.

"I love you." The words were carried from my thoughts to hers. I wanted to let go and be with her at the same time.

"Don't you dare. Come back." Beating pressure filled my chest. "Bring him back."

Like a sudden wave crashing over me, with soot surrounding me, I took my first breath again.

She was beautiful. Covered in ash, bruised, beaten, she was glowing in a way no one has ever looked. Her eyes closed, lips pressed in a hard line, her hands covering my face and my heart. A small gasp from her lips before her eyes blazed open. Surrounding us were the remnants of everything before.

"Ben." was the only word that could escape before she crashed down on me sobbing. Her body shaking from the cold and the fear. "I couldn't lose you."

"You saved me." I consoled her.

"You saved me first."

"We saved each other," I smirked at my own realization. We always pushed each other but we have always been saving each other one way or another.

"Now you're stuck with me."

"I can handle that. Can you?" I already knew she would have to give everything up. I would never be welcomed back. I have done things. I have done so many terrible things. No one would welcome me back. My mother and father were gone and I am left as the last reminder of the absoluteness of the sith, of the empire, of the first order.

"I think it is time we let the old things die. I'm ready." She spoke of a conversation rooted in fear but brought back to life like our lives. Together.

"Ready for?"

"Peace. WIthin myself, for you, from this constant war. I have sacrificed myself and you and now I'm done and ready for what's next."

We walked, limped really, with each of us leaning on the other. The tie fighter and the x wing still stood next to each other.

"I lied." She spoke with the little strength she had left. "I need to tell them that it's done. The sith is done."

"Okay." There would be nothing I could do to stop her but I didn't want her to leave. "I can't go with you."

"I know. I'll meet you. Anywhere."


	2. Chapter 2

The last time I saw Rey she was walking toward her x-wing. Tears in her eyes and the promise that we would meet and spend our lives in peace. That was before someone saw a lone tie fighter flying away from Exogol.

I am now in a prison cell waiting for my punishment to be doled out. For them to send me away to some camp and Rey will never know. I heard the whispers that she had come to the rebel base and told of her victory. She told them the sith had been destroyed. The last of the empire destroyed and nothing but a few remnants of the first order left. Then she left.

The guards had let out bits of information while I sat here. They enjoyed telling me that my "worst enemy" had come back. Little did they know that she was not an enemy. She never was.

My cell was humid and everything seemed to be sticky. Everyone was still celebrating their victory. Our victory. I could not let anger cloud my judgment again. I could accept my anger for what it was and move forward. I had not hurt a single human here since I was captured. Did I want to cut them limb to limb because they held me here day after day? Yes. Did I? No. The darkness still waits inside of me. The same as the light. A constant war. I was trying to be good but I so wanted to be selfish again. I wanted Rey and to get out of here was going to take a lot more cunning than brute force. I was learning patience and I hated it.

Days have passed and the fear of the future has set in the rebel base. Some have come in to taunt me and some have done far worse. The horrid conditions of my cell have stayed the same. Moss, vines and more are creeping into between the rocks holding me in.

In the early morning, the whispers between the birds are the only music I can enjoy. I'm not making myself a pacifist but I can't really force my way out of here without someone shooting first. My past is not something that I can escape this time. Turning towards the sith was easy. They accepted with open arms to have the grandson of Vader, a boy betrayed by his master, already conflicted. Coming back to the light challenged me a bit more since everyone else hated me. I tried not to hate myself but self-deprecation became too easy and ran through my head too often.

Rey was really the holder of my light, of my balance. Too weak to reach her, I hoped she could feel me. I hope she did not walk away from me again. I hoped and that was a start.

I heard that Poe Dameron was the new rebel leader. Unfortunately, the war was really over and now it's antebellum. It's curious how a pilot will lead the galaxy to a new era without becoming the thing he hates, a rule maker.

Day by day I was getting stronger. The little food and water I was able to get from the guards were barely enough to survive but my wounds were healing and that was enough. I was in painless and less and focusing on the force was becoming easier. I could finally put a plan in motion to get back the Rey.

"I had to come to see this myself." I look up to see Poe Dameron looking down at me from the high horse he sits on. Since he is in charge his ego is getting blown out of proportion. "Look how the Kylo Ren has fallen." He spat down. I could kill one more person. Would one more soul damn me from Rey? I took a breath and another but the demeaning words Poe spew made my control weakened one word at a time. I have heard words spoken with hatred and disgust so many times from countless people. There is only one person that could really hurt me with them again and I don't think she ever hated me.

I haven't felt the force bond since we separated but I would love to show her the disgusting human standing in front of me. I imagine he is so very proud of himself right now standing over the 'fallen' Kylo Ren. He doesn't know that the tables have shifted. I wonder if he is enjoying the irony that he is over me. Well, he thinks he is over me. Like the first time we met. His cockiness and arrogance tried to fight before and failed. His hubris will fail again.

"Poe Dameron. The savior of the rebel. The newly appointed general. How clever you are." My voice rumbled through the rocks down to his bones. "You think you captured me. You think you have won because you are a general? You will never be greater than my mother and you will never be able to lead. Want to know how I know?"

Poe's face was set in a hard line, his eyes downturned. "You think I care what you think and don't you dare say anything about Leia. You don't-"

"Because you don't listen and people always come second to you. How many people have you killed? By your hand? Your mistakes? That's the difference. I look forward to this playing out." I did look forward to seeing how he would fail. I never said I was completely good. Watching this conceited, self-important pilot fail would bring me a wonder of joy. I could never forget the memories of his and his failure will be well deserved because he is not completely good either.

"You will die-"

"Stop talking," I commanded. Just because I was waiting for Rey to come back and find me in a cell did not mean I had lost the ability to use the force. "You will untie me and take me to a ready ship."

"I will untie you and take you to a ready ship." Poe mechanically repeated back.

"Well let's go then." I would always win against Poe. His mind was too easy to invade and now he had the power to get anything done.

Watching Poe's face while I flew away was absolutely priceless and the chaos of losing the biggest prisoner was wonderful. The green fell away and hyperspace took over. Now I just had to figure out where to go. We were supposed to meet on Ahch-To until we could make a better plan. I pray she is still there.

This ship was nothing like the luxury I had in the first order but I could make do. I had to prepare to see Rey again and I badly needed a shower.

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I cannot wait for the next chapter but it gets very NSFW so I had to change the rating. I hope you enjoy! Ideas, thoughts, opinions? Let me know in the comments.


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